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William Barrios

Sometimes before we’ll go to a movie

She’ll sit in the front left

I in the back right

Next to the couple who can’t keep their hands off


Sometimes before I’ll beat the shit out of her


Sometimes before we’ll talk about our parents

What it might be like to turn into them

What it might be like if they were us


Sometimes before we’ll talk about whether the *********** is the thing

The thing that ends it all

The thing that breaks the world

The thing that’s earth shattering

The thing that stops the world from continuing

Earth globe world from spinning

World from rollin on, on, on, down the cosmic speedway


Sometimes before we’ll walk


Sometimes before we’ll dance


Sometimes before we’ll talk about what her father would be doing today

If he would be proud of her

If he would be proud of the woman she turned into

The woman she turned into because he’s gone

If her father would be proud of the woman she turned into 

because he wasn’t there to be proud of the woman she’d turn into 

if he was there to be proud of the woman she turned into


Sometimes before she’ll make me cry

She’ll flick

Prod

Poke my insecurities until I’m crying

I’m crying bits of drywall and my hands are bloody

I’m sobbing and all the dishes are smashed

I’m tearing open my lungs for air

“Why don’t you show something”


Sometimes before we joke

About dead babies

About rape

About how there isn’t enough food for everyone

About how some people don’t have fathers

About how she doesn’t have a father

About how some people are homosexuals

About how some people are heterosexuals

About sexuality

About the concept of sexuality

About her abortion

About how she was eight months and a week away from holding in her arms

Two halves of

Two halves of

Two halves of

Two halves

of a whole


We never joke about me


Sometimes before we’ll lie in the dark and silently hate the other


Sometimes before she’ll rub the sandpaper of my chin

I’ll bring a thumb to the mole under her eye

As if to wipe it away


Sometimes after we’ll show each other music

These are my favorite

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